I am always amazed when two people meet and within weeks announces their undying love for each other. This initial feeling is usually based on attraction rather than sustaining a long-lasting relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are many that announce their love, marry within weeks of meeting and their initial feelings grow into genuine love. But that is usually the exception rather than the rule.
Too many times, that initial feeling doesn’t stand the test of time. If you are going to ask me what is a good time frame, you will not get a definitive answer, but instead I would tell you let common sense prevail. Two people should be together long enough to experience life beyond the initial butterflies of their first dates.
In doing so, the chances of knowing if that initial feeling is strong enough to withstand the inevitable road blocks of life, is the only way to know if you can sustain love during both the best and worse of times.
Let me regress and ask the question, is it possible for someone to know if they can find ever lasting love from a first date? Or, maybe I need to step back and ask if it is possible to find a date that is a keeper for a lifetime? I guess I will stick to my initial thoughts and say that only the test of time can answer those questions.
Finding a date that is a keeper before you even date someone depends on the characteristics you are looking for in a person. Usually, you can’t discover what a person’s traits are until you spend time getting to know them. Of course if you believe that a crystal ball is the answer to everlasting love, I’m sure you can find a psychic who will tell you what you want to hear. However, I don’t put much merit in psychic readings for finding love that will last a lifetime.
Love can be beautiful, but for love to be everlasting, you have to be ONE in your strength to keep it from getting lost in life’s perils. When you look at the familiar words of a Christian wedding vow, I don’t see an easy path to finding love:
“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.”
It is hard to imagine you can fulfill such a vow, while searching for a date or even after several dates, without first getting to know if together you have what it takes for love to survive. Not as individuals, but as ONE during the best of times and the worse of times.
In closing, I will say that there is nothing more exciting than the initial meeting of someone you can’t take your eyes off of. That is easy. The hard part is to make sure that after you say “I do” that you will stand together even if life is falling apart around you.
There are no guarantees, but chances are if you found someone that makes you feel like you are floating on clouds, only time will tell if you can walk together when those clouds are replaced by a rainy day.
Tagged as: dating advice, finding love
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